There’s this “Verzus Battle” in the psychology world called nature vs. nurture. I love it because when it comes to my life, it’s the best of both worlds.
Nature vs. nurture is about the person you are. Is the person you’re becoming more about your genetics or the environment that you grew up around? Does one have more influence than the other?
My grandparents adopted my mom. She’s not biologically theirs, meaning neither am I. However, I still share many habits I picked up growing up in their household. Then, of course, there’s my biological parents.
My parents have always had access to me, but sadly, they weren’t consistently active in my life until adulthood. My maternal grandparents, who were headed towards the entrance of being empty nesters and were just a couple of years from entering their 50s, started over, gaining legal custody of me. Looking back and knowing what I know now, it’s almost as if it were all an open adoption. I was able to form my own relationships and opinions with all parties.
Times have changed, and the older I get, the more thankful I am that I was raised by my Nanny and Papa. I’m equipped with manners, structure, and wisdom that you can’t find every day. I woke up and rode in the car to Gerald Levert and the O’Jays. We had the big cube-looking television. My Papa grew his vegetables in the garden that was in the backyard. And they even owned a castor oil heater. During a bad ice storm one winter, we used it not only to produce heat, but eggs were scrambled on top of it, too. As a bonus, I was blessed to hear about some of the historical events they encountered.
As I searched for answers and was able to spend more time with my parents, a lot of them were in me as well. If you ever met my mom, you’d know she was loud and goofy. Being told to use my inside voice isn’t uncommon. I’m no comedian, but you’d never be around me and not giggle. My dad is definitely the most serious unserious person you may meet. He’s chill, laid back, and can act as if he’s still in his 20’s. I may be a little biased, but being chill and laid back is a trait I also carry. The love for music is embedded in me from them. And when my time comes, I can only hope and pray my child is conceived in the same love they shared.
My paternal grandpa was a preacher, and my grandma, his wife, was his First Lady. I’m no saint, but every day is a work in progress for my consistency in the Lord and knowing His word. But because my grandparents planted that root in their faithfulness in God for their legacy, I aim to oblige and not stray far from Him. In the midst of them pouring into the community spiritually, they fed the community as well. My grandparents were the ones who cooked and sold food from their church in the Westside.
For me personally, in my unique, non-typical upbringing and family tree, the puzzle pieces are coming together. The people mentioned above aren’t perfect. I’ve accepted that. While I’ve listed some of the good traits they each possess that I share, similarly, I share some of their not-so-good traits, along with the ones I’ve picked up along the way.
Rather its family on the paternal or maternal side, I still have questions. I still circle through the emotions of everyone for numerous reasons. I’ve taken moments to place myself in their shoes, and each time I tie them up, I understand more, and my perspective changes.
There have been countless times when I’ve been put in positions to choose sides or feel that I’ve had to prove my loyalty to one family group over the other. I was raised as a Daniel, and the Rosier blood runs in my veins. I will always remain humble and thankful for the layers of me they had a part in.
To answer the question, does having the best of both worlds have more influence over the other, for me, no. Because I’m still healing. I’m still growing, but I’m thankful because my grace deepens and the forgiveness expands. While my family has layered me up this far, today, I focus on the top layer that is under construction by me, for me.
#stillRising
#riseofRosier
#stillRising 